40 minutes on hold with student loan people and i'm STILL out $90. pppppthththth

“I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane... The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

so, now i know why the city can't set me up on autopay for my water bill - it's a government entity, and if they retained my account info, it would become part of the public record. ouch. in that case, i'm happy to push my payments.

1:30 AM - Purple shabbat grape juice and challah vomit, I put the sheet in the wash right away, it came out clean, Kaiser Advice gave me WAY TOO MUCH info (all I wanted to know was that it was a bad idea to put children's motrin on a pukey stomach), and I had to put to use my master's degree and my strong verbal skills to sort out the small bit of useful info embedded in all the freaky warning-speak. I hate to complain about Kaiser, since we generally get really good care there, but the nurse insisted she was required to give me this whole shitload of info. I was polite.
Asher's better now, tho' still whiney, crappy appetite, mild fever. We're going to try to bathe him this afternoon, since he's missed bath three evenings in a row, passed out on the couch.
Marjorie went to get the sukkah pieces, we're going to assemble this afternoon/tomorrow, decorate tomorrow.
Ezra's asleep in bouncy seat.

I think Asher has the same thing Butternut does. He's had a mild fever for the past two evenings, and has felt kinda crapped out. High Holidays are over, and we hope to be moving into Sukkot/Halloween mode soon.

she's gone

Tonight, Asher got in bed with Pam. He stroked and kissed her, touching her neck, collarbone, upper arm, shoulder, kissing her and breathing her in. He did this repeatedly for a full two or three minutes. He looked at her and leaned in, and whispered to her, "Pammy, I'm going to be sad when you're going to die."

Two days ago, Pam started up with a new complication. Her legs swelled up, and it’s a result of the tumor pressing on her inferior vena cava (the big vein that goes down from her heart into her legs). We had hoped they could zap the tumor around the vein, but a scan today determined the tumor is too diffuse and radiation would ding her kidney, liver, etc, organs she still needs.
While before this episode we thought she had longer to live, (maybe “months” whatever that means) it now seems likely that it’s a matter of weeks, and in my opinion, she’s not going to put up with much of this. The tumor is affecting her ability to speak (her voice box) and a number of other things. So, today’s development is that sadly, Pam’s time left has been greatly shortened. We don’t know what’s going to happen from here.
Thought I’d let you know. I’ll try to post more updates here, and keep in touch with folks here. If you’d like to help support me, Marjorie, and the boys, here’s what I’d like you to do. If you find that you have an extra bit of time, you could call and see if we need any of the following:
Take the kids to the park
Do the dishes
Fold laundry
Cook double and bring it over
Make a grocery run (you could call and add our items to a New Seasons, trader joes, or Costco run you may already be making)
Maybe something specific that you’re thinking of that I’m not?

Thanks. I have no idea how long this chaos will last.
Abigail et al