40 minutes on hold with student loan people and i'm STILL out $90. pppppthththth

“I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane... The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

so, now i know why the city can't set me up on autopay for my water bill - it's a government entity, and if they retained my account info, it would become part of the public record. ouch. in that case, i'm happy to push my payments.

1:30 AM - Purple shabbat grape juice and challah vomit, I put the sheet in the wash right away, it came out clean, Kaiser Advice gave me WAY TOO MUCH info (all I wanted to know was that it was a bad idea to put children's motrin on a pukey stomach), and I had to put to use my master's degree and my strong verbal skills to sort out the small bit of useful info embedded in all the freaky warning-speak. I hate to complain about Kaiser, since we generally get really good care there, but the nurse insisted she was required to give me this whole shitload of info. I was polite.
Asher's better now, tho' still whiney, crappy appetite, mild fever. We're going to try to bathe him this afternoon, since he's missed bath three evenings in a row, passed out on the couch.
Marjorie went to get the sukkah pieces, we're going to assemble this afternoon/tomorrow, decorate tomorrow.
Ezra's asleep in bouncy seat.

I think Asher has the same thing Butternut does. He's had a mild fever for the past two evenings, and has felt kinda crapped out. High Holidays are over, and we hope to be moving into Sukkot/Halloween mode soon.

she's gone

Tonight, Asher got in bed with Pam. He stroked and kissed her, touching her neck, collarbone, upper arm, shoulder, kissing her and breathing her in. He did this repeatedly for a full two or three minutes. He looked at her and leaned in, and whispered to her, "Pammy, I'm going to be sad when you're going to die."

Two days ago, Pam started up with a new complication. Her legs swelled up, and it’s a result of the tumor pressing on her inferior vena cava (the big vein that goes down from her heart into her legs). We had hoped they could zap the tumor around the vein, but a scan today determined the tumor is too diffuse and radiation would ding her kidney, liver, etc, organs she still needs.
While before this episode we thought she had longer to live, (maybe “months” whatever that means) it now seems likely that it’s a matter of weeks, and in my opinion, she’s not going to put up with much of this. The tumor is affecting her ability to speak (her voice box) and a number of other things. So, today’s development is that sadly, Pam’s time left has been greatly shortened. We don’t know what’s going to happen from here.
Thought I’d let you know. I’ll try to post more updates here, and keep in touch with folks here. If you’d like to help support me, Marjorie, and the boys, here’s what I’d like you to do. If you find that you have an extra bit of time, you could call and see if we need any of the following:
Take the kids to the park
Do the dishes
Fold laundry
Cook double and bring it over
Make a grocery run (you could call and add our items to a New Seasons, trader joes, or Costco run you may already be making)
Maybe something specific that you’re thinking of that I’m not?

Thanks. I have no idea how long this chaos will last.
Abigail et al

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
yes
02) What was your dream growing up?
gas station attendant
03) What talent do you wish you had?
being more organized
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
margarita
05) Favorite vegetable?
broc
06) What was the last book you read?
happiest otddler on the block, harvey karp
07) What zodiac sign are you?
leo
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
three holes in each ear, all grown in
09) Worst Habit?
wasting time with internet memes (says MDB)
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
oh, yeah
11) What is your favorite sport?
reading
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
optimistic
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
continue our conversation
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
root canal
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
i speak hungarian
16) Do you have any pets?
no, but my wife has two cats
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
come, eat, join us, don't mind the mess or the dirty diapers
18) What was your first impression of me?
after friday night services, let's see... smart, cute, someone to connect with
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
scary
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
lose weight
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
conscience
22) What color eyes do you have?
blue
23) Ever been arrested?
no
24) Bottle or can soda?
bottle
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
pay back debt
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
my couch
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
yes
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
cook, eat, read, talk, sleep
30) Do you swear a lot?
too much for a mother of two
31) Biggest pet peeve?
cat shit on the carpet
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
0verwhelmed
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
yes
34) Favorite and least favorite food?
fave, 5th beatle from American dream, least, capers
35) Do you believe in God?
yes
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

take a picture of yourself right now.
don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair… just take a picture.
post that picture with NO editing.
post these instructions with your picture.

Check this s--t out! Not only did Pam go last night with a huge group of folks to see the Chapman swifts (http://mile73.com/?p=833) in her wheelchair, she's arranged to get her dying wish - to go see Greg Odin practice - she's going next week! Wahoo! She continues to amaze me.

Yellowpagesgoesgreen.org is an organization working to educate consumers and promote the green movement to eliminate the unsolicited delivery of Yellow and White Pages books.
They are a grassroots organization that is asking all people interested in opting out to please tell family, friends, and co-workers about their program.
They have thousands of people signing up every month and trying to help stop the nonsense of delivering an unsolicited telephone book to people that do not want one.
www.YellowPagesGoesGreen.org

so here goes with occasional pam updates, not comprehensive, up to date, or even endorsed by her. I have a bunch of my own folks who want to know what's up with her, and it's exhausting trying to explain everything to everyone over and over. I will try to hit a balance with her privacy and people's genuine concern about her and me and my coping etc. today's tidbit - I am buoyed by Pam's getting shower chair and wheelchair - both will, I hope, help her deal with the debilitating fatigue and exhaustion she experiences when she does such daily tasks as walking from car to anywhere, or bathing. the wheelchair obviously won't help at home, but maybe it'll help her get out a bit more. also, hopefully the red blood cell infusion she spent much of today receiving will kick up her energy.

So, we're on our way home from a lovely seder at Ed, Susan, and Michael's. Late-ish, Asher's doing his self-soothing singing nonsense to himself. He starts to sing something about "my brother", then "baby" then ends up singing with full gusto "LET MY BABY GO"!
He's so cute.
Hag Sameach.
Abigail et al

So, Ezra has gooey eye. He's had blocked tear ducts since birth (common), and has always had some quantity of snotty-type goo in his eyes on and off. The other day he woke up with a super quantity of goo, totally sealing his eye shut, covering his eyelashes, etc. So, I took him in to see the doc. Bt the time we got there in the afternoon, he had developed a red blotch just below his right eye.
Turns out since he doesn't produce enough tears, he got an infection which would have otherwise been washed out had his eyes been working right. Since we're used to his being so goopy, we didn't know until it had spread that he had an infection, not just everyday goop. So, besides conjunctivitis of the non-threatening-to-those-with-normal-tear-production type, he also has a soft-tissue infection around his eyes.
All of this to say, the good news is: the goo in his eyes won't give us all pink eye; the bad news is that the oral antibiotics (augmentin) for the peri-orbital infection are wreacking havoc on his little tummy system. Uncomfortable belly and diarrhea.
Poor little guy.
Asher has blocked ears again, and is scheduled for surgery April 23rd - adenoidectomy and a new set of ear tubes. This surgery is more serious that previous, since he'll have general anesthesia, not just the happy mask. 3-day recovery, etc.